They say a picture is worth a thousand words. You scroll on social media and see all these couples smiling and being lovey-dovey. You wonder if they are always that happy. But what about the in-between times. When the smiles go away, and those thousand words turn into frustrations, sadness, and drama. Every relationship has its obstacles. No one is perfect, just like the Hannah Montana song Nobody’s Perfect; “Everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days”. Did you just sing the song in your head? Yeah me too, lol. It’s true, every kind of relationship faces challenges. Although the in-between moments are frustrating, it can make the relationship a lot better.
Think about the time when you first started dating. It’s fresh, it’s new, and it’s interesting. Then oops a problem turns itself to you. Do you run away, or do you make room to understand the problem? The in-between stages in a relationship make room for balance. Meaning the disagreements and frustrations can make you appreciate the times of happiness. 1 Corinthians 13 helps us to learn the kind of love God wants us to have.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres”.
God shows us this love all the time! He continually shows us kindness when we deceive Him time after time. He shows mercy when we disobey His Word, and He is our protector when relationships turn topsy turvy. God’s Love for us is undeniable, so embrace the in-between and understand that makes the relationship real.
The in-between love does not happen overnight. It comes with time and trust. It comes as we learn to love selflessly like God. The key to a godly relationship, is Christ being in the center of it. Decide whether or not that is the goal for each partner (Joshua 24:16). Have a conversation and ask one another is this what each of you wants. Next, you should seek Him individually (Matthew 6:33). Seeking Christ for yourself is important. You should not be in a relationship if you cannot be independent for yourself. I am not saying that we don’t need someone in life, but you should not be dependent on someone else to find happiness. Once you are secure in Christ, then you and your partner should seek Him together. When Christ is in the center of the relationship, He can do more than you could hope to accomplish on your own.
God showed His love by dying on the cross for you and I. God’s love is pure and He wants and desires a relationship with you. Before you can give yourself to someone else you have to be grounded in Christ. Grounded in yourself and what you want out of the relationship. The in-between stages are difficult, but they create a real picture in the end.